Do I smell a French whore???

More and more I notice that I am turning into my mom and Aunt Carol every day. This may not be a bad thing...for now. It seems that these days whenever I smell someone's perfume or cologne, I start to have an asthma attack. Funny thing is, I'm don't even have asthma. My mom and aunt like to get all dramatic when someone has too much perfume on and I used to think they were going overboard until recently.

Working in a hotel overnight you see a lot of people with some pretty offensive smells ALL night (in fact I'm sitting next to one right now). I used to hate smelling the alcohol coming out of drunk people's pores, but now I almost prefer it to smelling cologne and perfume at 5 in the morning.

I wish people would understand that it is NOT necessary to pour the entire bottle all over your body, doing so makes you smell like a French whore. A little goes a long way, especially with your cheap drugstore perfume which smells pretty close to cat piss. I am at the point where I am gagging because they smell so bad. Smells linger and I'd rather sniff cat piss, as Vinnie puts it.

The perfume women in department stores piss me off too, always trying to get you to smell their bottled toilet water. No, I don't want to smell your perfume, I could smell it in the parking lot. Pretty soon I may come close to to punching one of these women in the face, a move I'm sure my mom is pretty close to herself.

I'm sure I had a point here... Oh, yeah. People, next time you go to put on perfume or cologne, don't. I really don't need to smell you from 50 feet away.